Gender played a pretty big part in the book so let's start there. Gender, the obvious points, lots of uses of 'bitch' and Nick would never get a manicure because he's too masculine and so on. The more interesting gender issues I thought were the following; Nick and Amy's shared dislike and at times hatred of women, Amy's methods of dominating, and the change after marriage done by the female.
For a lot of the book it seemed to me like Nick and Amy's marriage problems could have been solved if they'd just taken some time, had lunch, and talked about how much women suck. Nick's got his father's "dumb bitch" mantra always running a little beneath the surface and Amy feels that women are colluding in their own repression particularly by trying to fit themselves into the Cool Girl mode. But yes, all these stupid women out there trying to please men and being crazy and whatnot. In the end it really does bring them together come to think on it. The hook that Amy catches Nick with upon her return is that no other woman could ever compare to her. That after being with Amy any other woman would just become dumb bitch over time. Nick swoons a little bit and the rest is just pulling the line in.
That being said she uses just about every traditional womanly wile she can get her hands on. She's a damsel in distress (a lot), she cries rape, she fakes a pregnancy, she engineers a pregnancy, she uses poison, and is a femme fatale ("Oh Desi I'm ready!" *stab*). All because she was scorned and as tradition will tell us, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And then those methods plus careful planning win her the day.
The next point may just be me, curious to hear feedback. From anecdotal experience and some movies etc, the after marriage stereotype that I'm familiar with is that the man woos the female ever so sweetly until the vows are said and then feels free to beat her for over cooking the pot roast. Here though, it seems to be Amy who transforms from Cool Girl into emasculating neurotic bitch. She keeps lists of everything, plans everything, remembers all slights, and is quick to point out perceived short comings. It's a little difficult to know this for certain since Amy's fake diary is well...fake. But from the 'real' her and Nick's memories it seems true. Anyway, not sure if female transformation post nuptials is a thing, but I did find it interesting. Also, her bewilderment that he didn't immediately love this rather different person is something I find confusing. If I say I like apples every day for a year why on earth would I expect anyone to know plums are frequently my favorite? If there are insights to this one, do let me know.
Mental illness and mental trauma were also pretty important. Amy's a sociopath, obviously. Nick is so against showing womanly sadness that he smiles in the press conference about his missing wife. Go also has some pretty stunted emotional growth. Nick's dad is basically an endless mantra of 'dumbbitch'. It seemed like the story was going somewhere with him, the talk of how Amy was trying to brainwash him and his more frequent wanderings, but that thread never really came clear. Desi is very seriously obsessed. Amy's parents I wonder about, they seem too perfect, there's only one time one snaps at the other that I can recall. Marybeth doesn't need a damn cuddle sweater, she needs to hear from Nick that he didn't murder her daughter. Oh and you know Stockholm Syndrome, loving your captor. According to this paper, Love and Stockholm Syndrome: The Mystery of Loving an Abuser by Joseph M. Carver, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist (http://drjoecarver.makeswebsites.com/clients/49355/File/love_and_stockholm_syndrome.html) the reason victims love their captors is as a survival mechanism, which certainly makes sense. And we really see that with Nick who is semi-happy to do things Amy's way because it serves as a guarantee that he won't become his father. He's also really appreciative that he can now play on her level. So that's neat. And in general: Hello there emotional abuse! How are you today?
Oh, I liked the book. Now as a bit of poking fun and in reference to the idea that we in this age will never see anything for the first time:
This book seemed like a really dark version of Pinocchio, Amy wants to be a real girl, but instead turns Nick into a fake man!
It also reminds me a bit of the War of the Roses.
Lastly, just for fun (I hope), 10 signs you're in an emotionally abusive relationship:
- Are you frequently misunderstood, and your intentions deemed dishonorable or manipulative? Do you end up feeling perplexed and frustrated?
- Do you feel as if there is something wrong with you, you feel bad and can't figure out why?
- Does your partner almost always disagree with you, and the smallest of discussions evolve into a major fight?
- Do you feel obligated to "give in" just to keep the peace in the relationship? Are you continually finding yourself fighting back what you'd like to say?
- If you approach your partner to talk about an issue with him/her, do you feel made to believe that it's insignificant and not worth talking about?
- Do you think that everything is your fault and that if you can somehow fix your flaws that everything would be okay in the relationship?
- Do you often give into sex and your partner's sexual demands just to keep peace—even if you don't want to?
- Can your partner laugh at his own mistakes, or even admit his own weaknesses and shortcomings...or is he too busy focused on why you make his life miserable?
- Does your partner have total control of all the finances in the relationship, and criticize you for spending anything?
- Would your partner feel uneasy or criticize you for even reading this blog?
From http://www.yourtango.com/experts/jane-wilcox/expert-10-signs-youre-emotionally-abusive-relationship
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